Grief & Loss for EHS Members
Honouring Colleagues Lost Too Soon
This year has been incredibly hard for the EHS community. You’ve lost colleagues to suicide and to premature deaths. These aren’t distant numbers — they’re friends, partners, mentors, station mates, and dispatchers who shared the weight of this work with you. Maybe you attended calls with them. Maybe you saw them at station at shift change. Maybe they were your mentor or preceptor. Maybe you didn’t know them personally but still felt the shock ripple through the community because you knew others that came before.
However this loss touches you, it matters. And it’s okay to acknowledge that it hurts.
When the People You Work Mean Something
In this line of work, your colleagues become more than coworkers. You share night shifts, long transfers, the jokes, the code 3’s, and the kinds of moments that most people will never fully understand. The bond runs deep — and when someone in that circle dies, the impact is unlike any other kind of loss.
You may not always have the time or space to grieve. Calls keep coming in. Shifts need to be filled. The world doesn’t stop, even though something inside you might feel like it has.
Grief Hits in Complicated Ways
Grieving a colleague — especially to suicide or unexpected illness — can stir up a mix of emotions. You might notice some of these:
Shock or disbelief — Even when someone was struggling, the reality can still feel surreal.
Guilt or “what ifs” — Wondering if there was something you missed, something you could’ve done.
Anger — At the system, the situation, or the sheer unfairness of it.
Numbness — Switching off to keep functioning on shift, only to have the grief show up later.
Echoes of past trauma — Each loss can bring back memories of other colleagues, difficult calls, or personal experiences.
None of these reactions mean you’re doing it “wrong.” They mean you’re human — and that the weight you carry is real.
The Culture of Strength… and Silence
Paramedics and dispatchers are trained to stay composed, no matter what’s happening around them. That strength saves lives — but it can also make it hard to talk about grief. Maybe you’ve told yourself:
“Others had it worse.”
“I need to be strong.”
“There’s no point talking about it — it won’t change.”
These are common ways first responders cope. But if grief has nowhere to go, it doesn’t disappear — it just goes underground. Over time, that unspoken grief can show up as burnout, irritability, exhaustion, or shutting down emotionally. Naming it, even quietly, can be the first step toward easing the weight.
You’re Not Alone — Even When It Feels Like It
BC has faced more loss this year than any group should. And while grief is often personal, it’s also something the community carries together.
Some ways you and your colleagues can support each other include:
Acknowledging the loss — even brief, honest conversations can cut through the silence.
Coming together — attending ceremonies, memorials, or station gatherings can provide shared space to grieve.
Checking in — Sometimes the people who seem “fine” are the ones hurting the most.
Respecting different grieving styles — There’s no single right way to mourn. Some talk, some go quiet, some need time.
Reaching out doesn’t have to be dramatic — sometimes it’s just a quiet “Hey, how are you holding up?”
When Grief Gets Heavy
Sometimes the weight of these losses goes beyond what peer support and informal conversations can hold. You might notice signs like:
Persistent numbness, irritability, or detachment
Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or intrusive memories
Increased use of substances to cope
Intense guilt, self-blame, or hopelessness
Struggling to function at work or at home
If any of this sounds familiar, it’s not a sign of weakness — it’s a sign that what you’re carrying is a lot. And support is available.
Honouring the Ones You’ve Lost — and Yourself
There’s no timeline for grief. It’s not about “getting over it” — it’s about finding ways to live with the loss, to honour the people you’ve lost, and to take care of yourself in the process.
At Wild Rose Counselling, we work with paramedics, dispatchers and health care workers who are navigating grief, trauma, and the daily realities of this work. We understand the culture, the language, and the load.
If you’re feeling the impact of these losses — whether it’s fresh or has been building over time — you don’t have to carry it alone. Reaching out is a courageous step toward taking care of yourself and your team mates.
